


Will You Let Me?

by PS_Banian



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F, Lesbian Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:01:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26756206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PS_Banian/pseuds/PS_Banian
Summary: Elsa has found her home in the Enchanted Forest, but what is it that makes this place feel like home? Embark on the journey of two women coming together, falling apart, and deciding what really matters in life.
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 62
Collections: elsamaren





	1. Breathless

**Author's Note:**

> I definitely do not own Disney, Frozen, or any of the characters. I am inspired by Elsa as a character - I identify with her in a lot of ways (although I unfortunately have no powers) - and as a lesbian woman I wanted to write a story about Elsa and Honeymaren's relationship. Please be kind! This isn't something I've done before, but I really hope you like it!

Until recently, Elsa could count the number of times her breath had been stolen from her chest on one hand. The earliest she could recall was at age 8, the night she shot frost towards Anna to catch her fall and hit her head instead. She had never felt so terrified, trembling on the icy floor with her beloved sister’s seemingly lifeless body in her arms. Next was at age 18, the moment one of the castle servants found her in the study to deliver the news of her parents’ death. She was utterly lost without their counsel. Then, 3 years later, she’d seen Anna sacrifice her life - stepping in front of the sword-wielding Hans - and felt the air leave her own lungs with her sister’s last breath. 

Of the 5 times she could remember having her breath taken away, only 2 were for good reasons. The moment she’d first stepped onto Ahtohallan, mesmerized by its beauty and the feeling of coming home that resonated deep in her bones - and a few days before that, when a tan, slender woman had dropped from a tree and ordered Anna to drop her weapon. In a moment when Elsa should have felt protective and scared, she couldn’t take her eyes off the stunning face. She even wondered, before learning the truth, if the mysterious voice that led her family on their adventure had come from this stunning woman’s lips. The feeling her appearance elicited in Elsa’s heart was so strong, so undeniable. 

Honeymaren. Elsa smiled as she traced the name with glowing ice in the darkness surrounding her. It had been 2 months since Anna’s coronation, 2 months since Elsa had discovered the reason for the powers she’d been gifted, 2 months spent staring across smoky fires in the hopes of meeting beautiful brown eyes glancing back.

The former Queen of Arendelle had adjusted to life with the Northuldra people very quickly. Honeymaren had been right, she did indeed belong here; she felt free in a way she never had before. The Enchanted Forest felt like home to Elsa, and so she’d erected a stunning tent from ice on the outskirts of camp and set to work helping with daily chores. But when she wasn’t busy with her duties, Elsa spent hours exploring nature. No one in the tribe could recall a single day when the young guardian hadn’t slipped off on a new adventure. Most of these adventures were spent learning about her powers and past in Ahtohallan, but on the occasions she explored the woods Honeymaren always went with her.

Elsa found herself stuttering and blushing a lot on these outings. She also found that the number of times her breath was stolen from her chest became innumerable. Every time her skin accidentally brushed against Honeymaren’s, any time the beautiful brunette smiled, when that mischievous glint appeared in her big brown eyes, when she laughed her melodic laugh, when she shuffled bleary-eyed from her tent in the mornings… Elsa could hardly remember what it felt like to breathe normally anymore. Mare did something to her, something so much stronger than the icy powers that coursed through Elsa’s veins. She cherished every moment spent with the young Northuldran, and this didn’t go unnoticed by fellow tribe members. Soon, Elsa and Maren found themselves paired together daily for certain chores and mysterious trips. They didn’t realize the Northuldrans were doing this intentionally, silently rooting for the girls. 

Elsa and Honeymaren looked forward to nothing more than the time they spent together and soon fell into a routine of sorts: Elsa presenting hot tea to Honeymaren as she stumbled out of her tent each morning, eating breakfast in front of a small fire, setting out to conduct chores together (primarily consisting of goofing around until Yelena, the stern tribe leader, shot them a disapproving look), then Elsa would embark on a small adventure or exploration, they would reunite for dinner with their tribesmen, spend the evening telling stories, laughing, teasing each other, sitting close by a comfortable fire as their eyelids drooped before finally (reluctantly) retiring to their tents and repeating the next day. Elsa had even brought Maren with her to Arendelle last week for weekly game night. She smiled as she recalled the pink tinge that had settled high on those tan cheeks when the brunette tried acting out, “True love’s first kiss.” 

The trouble was that Elsa, as much as she loved her new life, had found herself in frequent agony. After retiring to separate tents each night, Elsa felt her heart went with Honeymaren instead, and she spent many sleepless nights wondering if she was on Maren’s mind as much as the brunette was on hers. What was worse was that Elsa had discovered, much to her displeasure, that Honeymaren was apparently the most eligible bachelorette in all of the Northuldra tribe. This didn’t surprise her… the feisty young woman was stunning, Elsa couldn’t be the only one to see it. But Honeymaren seemed to have an endless stream of suitors who tripped over themselves to gain her attention. Each of these suitors were kindly dismissed (much to Elsa’s great pleasure), but none tried with such vigor (or worried Elsa as much) as Joren. Tall, strong and slender with a cute face, big brown eyes and shaggy chestnut hair, he was Ryder’s best friend - and Elsa got the feeling that Ryder was a big fan of a potential relationship between his sister and best mate. This idea enraged Elsa like nothing had before. Over the past few weeks she’d noticed that Joren was not-so-subtly trying to steal away the moments she shared - and cherished - with her Maren. 

Had she just thought ‘her’ Maren?!

‘Oh goodness,’ Elsa sighed into the early morning air, ‘this isn’t good.’ 

Although it was still quite early - the darkness was only just beginning to lift - Elsa rose from her bed and decided to start the day. She donned her heavy traveling cloak and stepped into the crisp morning air. Glancing towards Honeymaren’s tent, Elsa ventured deeper into the woods and began gathering wood for the fires. 

By the time she returned to camp she could tell it was nearly time to greet Maren with her morning cup of tea. She had just grabbed two mugs and set about preparing the tea when she spotted Joren directly outside Maren’s tent. He was handing the groggy woman a steaming mug enthusiastically. Elsa felt something in her chest she couldn’t quite describe - as if her heart had turned to ice and was sitting heavily on top of her stomach. Looking down, she noticed the mugs she’d been preparing were completely iced to her hands. Sighing again, Elsa turned and walked towards the fire where she typically shared breakfast with Honeymaren and began thawing the ice. She knew she was capable of simply removing the ice herself but was quite reluctant to use her powers right now - just in case her emotions got the better of her. 

Truthfully, situations involving Maren often found Elsa’s powers embarrassingly reverting back to something more like 3 years prior, when they were far more difficult to control. Luckily, thought Elsa, Mar had no idea it wasn’t typical for small flurries to erupt around Elsa anymore. The blonde only hoped her friend hadn’t pieced together that these flurries only seemed to mysteriously appear whenever the two women touched.   
Elsa looked up, having been lost in her thoughts, as two voices approached. It was Joren and Honeymaren, the latter looking very apologetically towards her friend. 

“Hey Else!” she called, her voice strangely high and unreadable. 

“Morning H,” Elsa said as the pair drew nearer. 

They arrived at the fire, Joren towering over both women and grunting towards Elsa in way of a greeting. Elsa often got the feeling the young man didn’t like her and - as the feeling was mutual - it made for very icy interactions between them (literally, thought Elsa as she looked down at her newly-thawed hands). 

Maren was holding two mugs of tea and she carefully brought one to Elsa. 

“Oh, thank you,” said the blonde, surprised. She laid the empty mugs by the fire and reached for her tea, grazing Maren’s fingers as she took the hot mug.

“I figured it’s only fair… I mean, you bring me tea every morning after all,” Maren blushed, and Elsa was certain she caught Joren rolling his eyes behind her back. 

“Only because I’m afraid you might not find your way out of your tent without it,” the blonde woman teased. 

Maren suppressed a smile and pouted. 

Any onlooker could tell the women were flirting with one another, and Joren didn’t seem to enjoy being their audience. Elsa glanced over Maren’s shoulder at the young man and Maren seemed to snap out of it, remembering they weren’t alone. 

She turned towards Joren and sat heavily on a log. Shivering, she reached for a thick woolen blanket. 

“Here, let me!” Joren sprang into action, grabbing the blanket and draping it over Honeymarens shoulders. Elsa nearly rolled her eyes this time, but the urge was eradicated when Joren sat rather closely next to Maren on the log and a small blush graced the flawless skin of the brunette beauty. Elsa suddenly felt too sick to look at her friend, and Joren smirked in triumph. 

There was an awkward silence as the three sipped their tea, Elsa still refusing to look at Honeymaren sitting so close to someone who wasn’t her. 

Joren spoke first:

“So what are the Ice Queen and her royal subject up to today?” 

Elsa shot him a look of ice and opened her mouth to say something, but Honeymaren - sensing danger - interjected: 

“Joren, I doubt Elsa likes being referred to as the ‘Ice Queen,’ especially after freeing the tribe from an eternity spent trapped in these woods.”

Joren grunted in response. How truly intellectual his responses could be. 

“And I think we’re hiking to the top of the old dam today to inspect the water and make sure everything is flowing smoothly, right Else?”

“Right,” Elsa responded, rather shortly. She shot an apologetic look at her friend as another uncomfortable silence fell on the small group. 

After a moment Joren drained his tea and rose. 

“Well, I’d better be off - Ryder needs me early this morning. I’ll see you this evening Honeymaren.” 

“Bye,” Maren said quietly. 

And off he strode, leaving a rather uncharacteristic silence between the women. 

Elsa cleared her throat. 

“He’ll see you this evening?”

Not quite reaching Elsa’s eyes, Honeymaren responded, “Um… ya. I sort of agreed to go on a walk with him this evening…he keeps trying to court me, you know... and I … I just, I just figured eventually I’ll have to settle down and he’s friends with Ryder and Ryder basically begged me to at least give him a chance, so…” she trailed off nervously, suddenly engrossed in the fire. 

“I see,” Elsa said, and she was surprised by the voice that escaped her lips. It was strained and rather pitchy - and it didn’t go unnoticed by her friend either.

“Is everything okay Else?” she asked, rising and moving towards the blonde to place a hand on Elsa’s arm.

The effect was immediate: a small flurry began dropping flakes around the women. 

Elsa, embarrassed, withdrew from the touch and averted her eyes.   
“Yes, of course,” she said unconvincingly, “I just didn’t realize you were interested in... in him…” 

“I’m really just giving it a chance for Ryder’s sake, that’s all. I doubt it will turn into anything.” Maren looked at the blonde, a worried and painful expression on her face.

Elsa took a deep breath and said, “shall we set off then?” 

“Sure,” Maren responded cautiously, still concerned. 

The women grabbed some sandwiches for lunch and set off on the short hike, the majority of which was spent in silence as Elsa was much too busy brooding to carry on a conversation.


	2. Follow the Snow Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments - it is encouraging for me! I hope you enjoy chapter 2! Chapter 3 isn't far behind

Maren stayed rather farther behind Elsa than normal on their short hike, lost in her own thoughts. She was, in a word, confused. 

She had fallen in love with the breathtaking blonde very quickly, within the first month of the Queen making the Enchanted Forest her home. The porcelain features of her face, the small smattering of freckles that graced her cheeks and the bridge of her dainty nose, the way she was simultaneously reserved and fearlessly strong, her vast intelligence, her beautiful heart… honestly, Maren was hooked after their first fireside chat, when she’d taught Elsa about the fifth spirit. She loved her quiet strength, her subtle and dry sense of humor - the blonde often said things that wouldn’t hit Maren for a few moments and when they did, the brunette found tears in her eyes from laughing so hard - she even loved the walls the blonde had clearly spent several years building. She loved them because they made those small hints of vulnerability that much more beautiful when they shone through. There was nothing quite like the feeling of knowing that Elsa trusted her enough to show the beauty beyond her walls; an unguarded Elsa was addictive. 

Maren had spent the past 2 months dreaming of holding the blonde, of her sweet scent surrounding them as their lips met softly. But how could a former queen, the fifth spirit who acted as a bridge between nature and humanity... how could that woman ever want a basic girl who’d spent her entire life in the same woods and never done anything particularly spectacular?   
Even still, Honeymaren was defenseless against the strong connection she felt with Elsa, and thus she’d sought counsel in Yelena - the leader of the Northuldran people. A very serious and quite stern woman at times, Yelena had been Honeymaren’s first choice because she knew the wise woman wouldn’t care enough to lie to her. So she’d confided her growing feelings and received some very puzzling advice: “Follow the snow fall,” Yelena had advised before walking away. When Maren pressed her, Yelena said if she couldn’t figure it out then perhaps she should focus more on one of her male suitors. The elder leader seemed to think that focusing on these men - none of whom Maren desired romantically - would help the brunette solve her cryptic advice. 

“Follow the snow fall,” Maren huffed under her breath as she followed behind the object of her secret affections in the crisp morning air.   
Leave it to Yelena to provide some strange, metaphorical advice rather than making it easy. The first snowfall of the year had already blanketed the ground by the time she received this advice, and what good would it do to ‘follow’ snow anyways? It just fell to the ground and eventually melted. Was Yelena saying she needed to ‘melt’ - to become vulnerable and tell Elsa how she felt? Ughh, it was so infuriating! Maren had spent countless hours trying to interpret the advice, but all she knew for certain was that she didn’t want to pay attention to her suitors - she had absolutely no interest in any of them. She wanted Elsa. 

But despite her heart’s desires, Maren had convinced herself that Elsa could never reciprocate her feelings - she had once been the Queen of Arendelle for heaven's sake! And so she’d decided to take Yelena’s advice and focus on one of the men who’d taken a liking to her. She wasn’t looking for romance, only taking steps to hopefully uncover the meaning behind Yelena’s mysterious wording. Which was why, at Ryder’s insistence, she finally agreed to give Joren a chance. 

But Elsa’s reaction to this news was jarring, and it left Maren wondering if maybe, perhaps, the blonde might have some feelings for her after all? She was certainly displaying behaviors that could only be described as jealousy...

Then again, it could have more to do with Joren than with Maren - he was a real jerk sometimes - and maybe Elsa just didn’t want her friend dating someone like that...  
Yet, on the other hand, the intense emotions Elsa was currently displaying...

“MAREN!” 

Honeymaren jerked back to reality. They’d arrived at the top of the waterfall where the dam once stood. Elsa was looking at her with kinder eyes now, wearing a somewhat worried expression.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Maren muttered, pulling herself out of her thoughts. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Elsa asked softly, taking a step towards her. 

“Oh, yeah,” Maren responded ruefully, “lost in thought, I’m sorry.” 

Elsa scrutinized her face for a moment, then seemed to decide against further questioning.

“So… everything looks good to me,” the blonde said, turning her attention towards the massive waterfall. “Not exactly sure what Yelena was wanting us to look for out here...” 

“Wait,” Maren interjected suddenly, “Yelena was the one who had us come here today?” 

“Yes,” Elsa said suspiciously, “why?” 

“Nothing,” Maren said quickly, and she began walking around the banks, pretending to study the waterfall. 

What in the world was Yelena playing at? Why purposely send her somewhere alone with Elsa when she knew Maren’s feelings for the former queen? Why urge her to pay attention to some of the young men in the tribe while simultaneously sending her on secret missions with the woman she truly desired? 

“Hey,” Elsa said tentatively, pulling Maren from her thoughts once more, “I’m sorry about… about earlier. I just, I think you could do a lot better than Joren, that’s all.” 

“Oh,” Maren said, slightly dejected. Apparently she’d been correct when thinking Elsa just didn’t want her friend dating a jerk. 

Of course, she thought bitterly, how could this flawless beauty ever want me? 

“Oh, well… thanks Elsa. I don’t think there’s anything there, really. I just… I figured I should do Ryder a favor. He kept insisting, so…” she trailed off. 

“But I want to be clear,” she continued suddenly, realizing that despite her feelings for Elsa, her best friend deserved to know the truth about Joren. “I’m really not interested in him. He’s a jerk, honestly. I don’t even understand what Ryder sees in him. He sort of repulses me, so… you don’t have to worry about me dating someone like him. I’m not that stupid. I want better. MUCH better.” She finished, hoping it wasn’t too obvious that what she really wanted was standing right in front of her. 

Elsa’s face brightened considerably; the effect of Maren’s words was instantaneous, and the awkward tension that settled between them that morning was eliminated.   
Maren smiled at her friend as relief washed over her. A quiet voice in the back of her mind continued speculating whether Elsa’s happiness came from friendship or something more, but Maren fought to ignore it. 

Now in a significantly better mood, Elsa took one last look at the rushing water - ensuring all was well - then grabbed Maren’s hand and said, “come on, I want to show you something!”   
The two women ran along the banks, Honeymaren’s heart feeling light and free (the way she was used to feeling in the presence of Elsa), until they were slightly past the former fog barrier. Elsa slowed and pointed towards an inlet leading off the main river. The excitement in her eyes was adorable, and Maren had to stop herself from reaching up and tucking a flyaway strand of hair behind Elsa’s ear. She feared if she touched her friend’s wind-blown hair then her hands would continue moving along the chiseled body of their own volition. So, holding back her true desires, Maren followed the stream until the women came upon a beautiful clearing. 

The large, circular clearing was filled with overgrown greenery and wildflowers of every color imaginable popping out against the deep green of the surrounding woods. Sunlight dappled the leaves, making the place appear more magical than it already felt. The clearing ended at a tall, stunning rock wall. Deep-blue water thundered over the rocks and fell to the circular pool below, a pool surrounded by the luscious green grass the women stood on. 

Elsa turned and looked at Maren without speaking, her face cautious and searching. It was clear she’d been considering sharing this place for some time now, and seeing the breathtaking woman search for her approval made Honeymaren feel like the most special person in the world. She took a quivering breath and looked around, allowing her eyes to drink in the beauty of this place. 

“Wow,” she finally breathed, turning back towards Elsa, her eyes wide and filled with excitement. 

Relief seemed to wash over the blonde as she too let out a breath - a breath Maren guessed she’d been holding since they’d entered the clearing. 

“It’s…. It’s… there are no words, Elsa.” 

Elsa, thoroughly pleased, said, “I knew you’d appreciate it as much as I do.” 

“How did you find it?” she asked, although she knew the answer.

“I just happened upon it when I was exploring with Nokk one day,” Elsa said sheepishly. 

“You and that horse discover the coolest places,” Maren whined, looking at Elsa with a glint of jealousy in her eyes. 

“Well if you weren’t too scared to come on a ride, you could always accompany us,” Elsa teased. 

“Hey now!” Maren said playfully, “I can’t help that your water horse is so wild - I learned a long time ago to never trust something quite so… so… unpredictable.” 

“Don’t you trust me?” Elsa said softly, stepping slightly closer to her friend. 

And there was that all-too-familiar sensation running down Maren’s spine. She actually shivered as she looked into those icy blue eyes and felt her throat go completely dry.

“Yes,” she whispered hoarsely. “Of course I do.” 

The playfulness of the conversation had passed, replaced instead by a hunger apparent in both women’s eyes. 

This feels so… undeniable, Maren thought. 

There was a sudden rustling in the woods, interrupting the moment as both women started and looked around for the source.   
Damn squirrel. 

Elsa giggled nervously and took a step back, looking down at her feet as she cleared her throat. 

“So, um… should we have a picnic by the waterfall then?” 

“Of course!” Maren responded eagerly, trying to hide her disappointment at the interruption. She was so confused - surely Elsa had felt what she just did?

Following the blonde woman as she led the way closer to the waterfall, Maren became lost in her thoughts once again. Should she just tell Elsa how she was feeling?   
Elsa walked towards some smaller rocks in front of the rock wall and retrieved a blanket from behind them.

“Wow,” Maren laughed, “come here often?” 

Elsa smirked. “I might spend a lot of time here. I find it very peaceful.” 

The day had grown quite warm for the North, the sun beating down on Elsa’s fair skin and adding a small touch of pink to her cheeks. Although it wasn’t nearly warm enough to swim, the women slipped out of their shoes and sat on the blanket at the edge of the pool, their feet enjoying the water as they ate their lunch. They watched the water spill over the top of the rock wall and made small talk, giggling and enjoying each other’s company. 

After finishing their sandwiches, Maren yawned and leaned back on the blanket. Elsa smiled down at her.

“Time for a post-lunch nap?” She asked teasingly. 

“Sounds like the perfect day to me,” Maren smiled, closing her eyes. 

After several minutes of enjoying the sun shining on her face and the feel of Elsa sitting beside her, Maren opened her eyes a crack to look up at the blonde. The woman was staring into the waterfall intently, and Maren noticed her features had become more set. She seemed hopelessly lost in thought and on the verge of tears. 

“Else?” Maren asked gently, sitting up. “Is everything okay?” 

“Oh… oh yes, of course,” Elsa said, but she turned her head and brought her hand to her face, clearly wiping a stray tear from her eye. Then she turned back towards Maren. 

“That was an awfully quick nap,” she said with a smile. The fact that the woman clearly thought her smile was convincing slightly offended Maren. 

“Elsa,” she said slowly, scooting closer and taking Elsa’s small hand in her own, “You know you can tell me anything, right?” Maren made sure to look directly into those ocean blue eyes, the iris stormy and currently filled with a beautiful vulnerability.

Elsa stared back into Maren’s eyes. The brunette could tell she wanted to look away, but something was keeping her from doing so. Maren moved her fingers to interlace with Elsa’s, relishing in the way they fit together so flawlessly. A warmth began radiating between them, starting where their slender fingers met and spreading, binding them together.   
The next moment, still gazing deeply into Elsa’s eyes, Honeymaren noticed incredibly large flakes of snow falling around them. It was much too warm for snowfall. 

She’d occasionally observed small, sudden flurries of ice erupt around Elsa and always assumed it was just a quirk of having such intense powers inside... but this was different. This wasn’t ice or a small, sudden flurry of snow. These were large, stunning flakes falling gently and blanketing the ground around them. Maren looked deeper into Elsa’s eyes, puzzled, and suddenly something clicked. 

‘Follow the snowfall’’, she heard Yelena’s voice echo in her mind matter-of-factly. 

No, it couldn’t be… 

And yet… how could it not be? 

The answer was so clear. It was right here in front of her. 

Maren - her mind racing - began thinking back to all the times she’d noticed ice or quick flurries erupting around Elsa. It was always when the two of them touched… she was certain of it. In fact, they’d never touched for this long because Elsa always pulled away so quickly.

Oh my god, Maren thought, pulling her gaze away from Elsa’s gorgeous face to look at the pure white snow around them, Oh my god… Elsa has feelings for me too! 

But the nervous excitement building in Maren was short-lived. With their eye-contact broken, Elsa seemed to snap out of it. She quickly withdrew her hand from Maren’s and erased the snow with a wave. A tense silence filled the air around them. 

“Um, I’m sorry Maren I’m … I’m embarrassed,” she stuttered, not meeting her eyes. “I’m just… I don’t feel well and sometimes this happens…. things become harder to control if I feel sick, or...,” the blonde trailed off nervously. 

The thick, icy walls that so often surrounded her heart had snapped back into place. 

Maren opened her mouth to respond, but Elsa - who had suddenly risen from the blanket and slipped back into her shoes - interrupted. 

“I’m sorry Maren, I really don’t feel well. It… it came out of nowhere … I just … I need to be alo - I mean I need to go I just… I’m sick, I’m so sorry, I’ll see you back at camp later or… sometime… I’m sorry… I have to go… I’m so sorry” 

And without waiting for a response, the slender woman rushed into the woods and disappeared, leaving Maren with her mouth hanging open. 

What in the world just happened? 

Maren remained by the pool for a while, her arms wrapped around her knees, gazing at the waterfall - lost in thought. Eventually she rose and headed back towards camp, now confident that Elsa felt the same way she did. 

But getting her to admit that? Well, that kind of vulnerability might prove to be more difficult.


	3. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit different - I have breaks throughout where the perspective changes. I'm really excited about this chapter - it's my favorite so far. I really hope everyone likes it and that it doesn't feel too choppy.

Elsa ran the entire route back to camp, her heart hammering in her chest. How could she have been so stupid?! Let’s just drown Maren in twelve feet of snowfall - she’ll never notice! 

Her outing with Maren had been so lovely; she’d finally shared her hideaway with the woman and they’d also shared an intimate moment. Before the squirrel made the women jump, Elsa’s mind had been screaming at her to lean in and kiss the girl… and she’d strongly considered doing so.

She felt so comfortable with the brunette, and when the young woman had dozed beside her, Elsa felt so content - like this was how it was supposed to be. The two of them snuggled close together on a blanket in the afternoon sunlight. It was magic. 

So she’d let her guard down with the comfort of the falling water and Maren’s chest rising and falling rhythmically beside her… and her thoughts had turned to her parents. 

Gazing into the waterfall, Elsa felt their presence as if they were smiling down on her and Maren. And suddenly she wished, desperately, that her parents could join them for an afternoon picnic; that she could still share her life and her love with them. She realized they’d never get to meet Maren, never get to love her or see how happy she made their daughter. She couldn’t talk to her mom about her feelings for the woman, she couldn’t confide in her father. 

That’s when Maren had risen and tried comforting her. Why hadn’t she just let her in?! 

Then the tan woman had taken her hand, had wrapped her fingers around Elsa’s… and Elsa was powerless to resist her. Looking into those deep brown spheres, seeing the young woman’s heart, feeling her love and comfort… it was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. She couldn’t control herself. 

Truthfully, Elsa hadn’t even noticed the snow falling around them until Maren began looking around. 

At that moment, she didn’t know what to do. She was mortified. Nerves had filled her and her mind buzzed… she had no idea what to say. The intensity of their shared moment, the way Elsa felt for her friend… it was all too much. She couldn’t locate the courage to admit how she felt. So instead of facing it, she ran. 

Arriving back at camp, Elsa rushed around the outskirts in the hopes of avoiding people. She made it to her tent and slipped inside, throwing herself on her bed. 

She was mortified. She knew Maren didn’t believe her silly excuse. The woman had a way of seeing through Elsa’s walls, and sometimes Elsa really hated it.

************************

Maren took her time on the hike back to camp. She knew Elsa needed time, and the brunette wasn’t particularly looking forward to convincing the guarded woman that they needed to have an honest chat. 

Most tribe members were eating dinner by the time Maren wandered into camp. She glanced around - not expecting to see Elsa in the crowd - and headed towards the ice tent on the outskirts of camp. 

She stood outside the tent for a few moments, taking some deep breaths and steadying her nerves. 

“Elsa?” She called. 

She heard the woman stir in her bed. 

“Elsa, I’m coming in,” she said, not bothering to ask for permission. 

She moved the heavy canvas door to the side and stepped into the tent. Well… stepped into the ice tent. Icent? 

It was stunning. Slightly larger inside than her own, and the intricacy of the blue ice was simply stunning. 

Elsa sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes. 

She looked so goddamn adorable, clearly having just woken from a nap. 

Maren made her way to the bed and sat on the end. She placed her hand on Elsa’s leg and smiled. 

“Feeling any better?” she asked, deciding to play along with Elsa’s silly excuse for now. 

“Much,” Elsa said, still looking slightly embarrassed. “I’m so -”

“Don’t apologize,” Maren interrupted. 

Elsa looked at her with gratitude in her eyes, thankful they didn’t have to discuss their outing any further at the moment. 

“I’m about to head out on my walk with Joren,” Maren said, sounding like it was the last thing she wanted to do. 

Despite knowing the brunette had no feelings for Joren and didn’t even want to go on a walk with him, Elsa couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy. She unconsciously moved her leg under the blankets and Maren removed her hand.

A small silence followed. 

“But I haven’t had dinner yet,” Maren pressed on. “I don’t expect our walk to take long, so… can we meet by our fire - say right before sunset?” 

Elsa beamed at Maren referring to the fire as “our fire”. The idea that something was theirs - that they shared a special spot. 

“That sounds great, Mare,” Elsa said softly. 

“Great!” Maren said, rising from the bed. “I’m looking forward to it.” 

She winked at the blonde and disappeared behind the canvas door. 

************************  
Elsa sat by a roaring fire hours later, admiring the flames as they licked their way through the wood. She was beginning to feel anxious - Maren should have met her over an hour ago, but she still hadn’t returned from her walk with Joren. Trying to fight the jealousy rising from the pit of her stomach, she looked around for a distraction. 

She saw Ryder, back from a day spent with his beloved reindeer. He was walking towards the campfires, and Elsa decided it was worth it to ask if he’d seen Honeymaren around. 

“Hey Ryder”, she said tentatively as he walked by. 

“Oh, heya Elsa! I didn’t see you there!” he said as he bounced over to the fire Elsa typically shared with his sister. 

“Um, you haven’t seen your sister, have you?” she asked. “She was supposed to meet me here a while ago.” 

“Oh, don’t take it personally Elsa,” Ryder said with a smile. “She’s on a date of sorts with my best mate Joren.” 

Oh this I know Elsa thought bitterly, clenching her fists. 

“And from what I hear it’s going pretty well, too” he winked. 

Elsa felt like she’d been kicked in the stomach. 

“What… what do you mean?” she asked, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. 

“Well…” the brunette smiled, drawing nearer, “I have it on good authority they were spotted sharing a kiss by the river.” 

Elsa, whose throat had gone very dry, swallowed hard as her ears began ringing. A gust of wind blew and snow swirled around the campfire. 

“Elsa?” Ryder asked carefully. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yes,” Elsa said, though her voice was unconvincing - even to herself.   
“I need to get some air,” she said suddenly, rising from her spot on the log. Ryder looked at her, perplexed. 

“But… we’re already outside, Elsa,” he said. 

“Right.” Elsa noted, her heart now positively overcome with a flood of emotions.  
How could she? How could she kiss him?? Anger, heartbreak, jealousy - all three were fighting ferociously in Elsa’s mind. 

“I need to go,” she said to Ryder, and without waiting for a response she stumbled toward the woods. She had no clue where she was going, she just knew she needed to be alone.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans. 

************  
Honeymaren found her way to the fire after a long and frustrating conversation with Joren, just in time to see Elsa quickly disappearing into the trees. 

“Ryder, where is Elsa going in such a hurry?”

“I’m not really sure,” he responded, scratching his head. 

“She was acting very strange.”

Maren looked down and noticed fresh snow on the ground. Concerned, she pressed her brother for more information. 

“I don’t know, Mare. She just called me over to see where you were and I told her not to wait up, you were with Joren.”

Maren groaned and placed her hand on her forehead. She was definitely late, but she’d told Elsa very clearly how she felt about Joren earlier that day. What had her rushing off like this? There had to be more...

“Did you say anything else to her Ryder?” The question came as more of a plea.

“Just that it was going really well I thought.”

“And why, might I ask, did you think that?”

Ryder suddenly blushed and looked down, speaking to his feet, “well, some of the guys were out by the river earlier and I guess they… they saw you kissing…” he trailed off.

Maren’s heart momentarily froze in her chest. 

“Ryder,” she said quietly, trying to remain calm, “did you happen to share that bit of information with our friend?” 

“Well, ya,” he said, “I figured she’d be happy to hear it was going well. WHAT??” He asked, for Maren was suddenly looking at him like she might actually murder him.

“Ryder you ass!” She cried. “I need you to understand something: Joren is an absolute jerk and we will never be in a relationship. Or even be friends for that matter,” she fumed. “I have to go.” 

And without another word, Maren rushed into the woods in the direction she’d seen Elsa disappear - the second woman to suddenly and inexplicably run out on Ryder that evening. 

*********

Elsa found a tree not far into the woods and sunk down, sitting against the trunk. She found comfort in being alone with her thoughts, but it wasn’t long before she heard soft footsteps approaching. 

She knew without looking who it was - she could always sense Honeymaren’s presence. She reached up and wiped away the tears she hadn’t noticed falling down her cheeks and braced herself, wishing her powers could make her invisible. 

“Else?” Came the sweet voice she’d come to know so well - the voice she could never escape, whether dreaming or awake. 

The blonde didn’t respond, and next thing she knew Maren had walked around the tree and crouched in front of her. 

“Elsa?” She said tentatively. “Is everything okay?” 

Oh yes, it’s just wonderful - can’t you tell?? Elsa thought bitterly. She wished the beautiful brunette would leave her so she could sort through these feelings.

“I just want to be alone right now Maren,” she croaked, surprised by the emotion in her voice.

Honeymaren sat in front of Elsa, clearly not going anywhere.

“We need to talk about this, Elsa”, she said gently. “You can’t just keep your feelings hidden inside and expect them to go away. We have to talk them through... together.” 

“You were supposed to meet me over an hour ago,” Elsa said, still refusing to meet Maren’s eyes. 

“I know, and I’m so sorry Elsa. I hope you’ll give me a chance to explain why I’m late.” 

“I already know why,” Elsa said, feeling her emotions rising once more. “And if you want to spend your time kissing that moron, that’s none of my business.” 

The blonde rose from her spot against the tree and crossed her arms protectively over her chest. 

“That’s not fair Elsa. It wasn’t like that at all…” 

Elsa turned on her heel and began marching back towards camp, no longer interested in what Honeymaren had to say. She knew she was acting childish and needed to calm down, but she was having so much trouble controlling these emotions. 

Maren was quick to pursue, walking close behind the blonde. 

“Please just leave me alone Maren,” Elsa said angrily.

“No,” Honeymaren responded stubbornly, “Not until we’ve talked this out.” 

“You really don’t want to be around me right now,” Elsa said, sensing an intense anger rising. “It’s not safe.” 

The brunette reached out and caught Elsa’s arm, wheeling her around so they were face-to-face. Finally their eyes met, and Elsa felt a pang of jealousy when she glanced down at Maren’s beautiful, full lips - knowing they’d been kissed by someone so unworthy… knowing she herself wouldn’t be the first one to grace those lips with a kiss. And just like that, flurries began erupting around them. 

“You don’t scare me, Elsa,” Maren said gently, and the blonde could see in those brown eyes that she meant it - and Elsa loved her all the more for it. 

The women had made it back to camp and stood in front of a dying fire. It appeared half the tribe had gone to bed. Elsa wanted nothing more than to retire to her own tent and be left alone with her thoughts, but Maren wasn’t letting this go. 

“Just...talk to me… please,” the brunette pleaded softly, her wide eyes fixed on Elsa’s face. 

Well, Elsa thought, she wants me to share my true feelings, and I don’t think she’s letting this go until I do, so… Here goes. 

“I’ve already told you I don’t feel like talking,” she said, perhaps more cooly than she’d intended, “But I’m sure Joren would just love to talk to you Honeymaren. I mean, you’ve already spent the entire evening with him - despite leaving someone waiting on you - so what’s a few more hours? Let’s go find him, shall we? He always has such interesting, thought-provoking things to say,” she finished sarcastically, feigning excitement. 

“Why are you being like this Elsa?!” Maren asked incredulously. 

“I don’t know Honeymaren, why did you kiss an idiot you don’t even like?”

“He kissed me Elsa!” the brunette said fiercely. “And I never asked him to.”

“But you didn’t stop him either!” Cried the blonde. “I doubt you objected at all.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you also have the power to be in two places at once,” Maren said sarcastically. “I mean, how else would you know if I objected or not?”

The women had never argued like this before, and there was something rising between them... Something with the air of being impossible to stop once it had begun. 

“I know because... because...” Elsa stuttered, “because you let it happen!” She finished angrily, though clearly recognizing her argument was weak and nonsensical. 

“Well at least he has the courage to go after what he wants, Elsa.” 

That one stung, and Maren noticed the wind picking up around the fire. She was vaguely aware of a growing audience nearby, no doubt drawn by the shouting, but the adrenaline pushed her past the point of caring. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Elsa asked incredulously. “I’m not scared!” 

“Oh, you’re not?” Maren, her blood pressure rising, taunted.

“No!” The blonde yelled back. 

“Then you’ll have absolutely no problem answering a question truthfully for me, right?” Maren exclaimed, her hands clenching tightly. 

“Ask,” said the blonde, her jaw set. 

There was a pause, both women breathing heavily from their rushing adrenaline and high emotions. 

Then Maren - trying to decide how best to word the question - opened her mouth, closed it, opened once more and asked so quietly that the words were hardly audible over the whistling winds, “how do you feel about me, Elsa?”

The blonde looked at her, clearly not expecting the question, and began blinking furiously. 

“What do you mean?” She asked, although she clearly knew what the brunette meant. 

“You’re not dumb, Elsa,” Maren said, stepping closer to the blonde. “You know what I meant, but I’ll ask again … more clearly this time.” 

She paused, taking a deep breath and stepping closer still. Elsa could now feel the heat radiating off her warm skin. The brunette stopped, looked Elsa square in the eyes, opened her mouth and asked: 

“Are you in love with me, Elsa?”

This much bolder question came more unexpected than the last, and Elsa nearly stumbled backward.

“Am I.. wha.. love...?” She spluttered.

“It’s a simple yes or no,” said the brunette, moving closer still. “Are you or are you not in love with me? If you aren’t scared to go after what you want then answer me. Honestly.” 

Elsa looked at the brunette, now no farther than two feet away, and considered her words. 

Elsa was stubborn at her core, and she wasn’t about to let Joren win without putting up a fight. She belonged with Honeymaren - she was certain of it - so she swallowed hard and set her gaze on the deep brown eyes in front of her. 

She moved forward, drawing nearer to the woman she loved until she could count every freckle on the bridge of her nose and smell her intoxicating breath. 

She then reached forward, tucked a stray piece of hair behind Maren’s ear, took the slender face in her hands and closed the remaining distance between their lips. 

The kiss was indescribable. 

She felt Maren’s warm, full lips press lightly against hers at first, and even with that soft touch a blizzard erupted around them. The tribespeople had their views obstructed by the near white-out conditions. 

Inside the blizzard, Elsa felt Maren - clearly surprised at first - sigh into the kiss as the corners of her mouth drew up in a smile. 

She grabbed Elsa’s waist and pulled her closer before sliding her tongue across the blonde woman’s lower lip, requesting approval to deepen their kiss. Elsa’s hands found their way to silky brown hair and she opened her mouth, granting access.

Maren slipped her tongue into Elsa’s mouth and the blonde moaned, the sound muffled as the women deepened their kiss impossibly further. 

The brunette tasted incredible… familiar, even - as if her taste was something that somehow, defying all logic, reminded the blonde of home. 

Not home as a physical place, but the comfort that comes with home. 

The feeling of waking up on a Saturday morning with no plans other than spending the entire day with your favorite people in the world, surrounded by the love and safety of your family. 

The excitement that spreads to your toes on Christmas Eve, the warmth of the hot chocolate filling your body as you snuggle by a warm fire - completely content and buzzing with anticipation for the morning. 

The nervous, exhilarating fear you feel in the pit of your stomach when setting out on a new adventure, where the possibilities are endless and you know everything could change in a single moment. 

Somehow, outside the bounds of reason or reality, Maren’s kisses embodied all those feelings perfectly … and so many more. 

There was absolutely nothing for it - Elsa was hooked. 

Standing there by the fire, her hands now wrapped around Maren’s neck as the brunette pressed their bodies impossibly closer, kissing passionately… Elsa knew: 

Never did she want to spend another day, another hour, another moment even without the sweet taste of Honeymaren’s lips pressed against her own. 

“Yes,” Elsa panted when they finally separated. “Yes Maren, I am very much in love with you.”

“That’s good,” Maren whispered against her lips, “because I love you too. Which is exactly what I told Joren before he kissed me - that my heart already belongs to someone else. I guess the spies forgot to mention that I slapped him across the face after he stole a kiss” 

“I hope you left a mark,” Elsa managed, still breathless from their kiss. 

A grin suddenly spread across the blonde woman’s face. 

“What?” Maren asked, resting her forehead against Elsa’s, refusing to relinquish their distance from one another.

“Who’s a better kisser?” The blonde asked mischievously. 

Honeymaren rolled her eyes. “I’m not sure, I think I need a refresher.”

“I’m more than happy to oblige,” Elsa whispered before capturing the magnificent lips once more.


	4. Slow Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I have a few notes here this time, but first and foremost: THANK YOU for your comments and support! I cannot tell you how happy it makes me when I get notified that I have a new comment, so please keep them coming! It is so encouraging. Some notes: 
> 
> \- You might not love this chapter, and truthfully it's not my favorite either. But I want to assure you that I have a very clear direction for this story and actually have multiple future chapters finished already... this one is necessary to my story but certainly isn't as good (IMO) 
> 
> \- I did some nerdy research and discovered that Elsa was supposed to be 21 in the first movie and Anna 18, and in the 2nd movie they were 24 and 21, respectively. That seemed to be straight from the mouth of Disney, but if I am incorrect about that then I just wanted to say for the purposes of this story: Elsa is 24. I couldn't find what HoneyMaren's age was supposed to be, but I sort of got the idea she was closer to Anna's age, so once again - for this story - I am calling Maren a solid 22 - just slightly older than Anna.
> 
> \- Finally, you will notice in this chapter I begin getting slightly less PG (which will continue building throughout the story). There's this odd thing I'm discovering where I'm trying to marry the innocence of Disney with a story that is slightly more realistic. For example: sex. I'm finding it's a hard thing to do, and I doubt I will do it perfectly. I want to keep the sweet innocence that makes our characters who they are, but I also want their relationship to be realistic and not boring. Anyways, I hope I am able to find that balance, and I hope you all like it.

Maren woke in the chilly morning air without opening her eyes - she kept them closed tight as memories of the night before flooded her brain.

OH.   
MY.  
GOD. 

What an INCREDIBLE evening. That kiss… Elsa’s perfect lips… WOW. 

She had been utterly repulsed when Joren kissed her with his dry, cracked lips. She felt like crying, throwing up, and washing her mouth with whatever disinfectant she could get her hands on - all at the same time. 

But then Elsa.

Elsa, coming in and righting a wrong. Taking an activity Maren had begun equating with a painfully awful memory and turning it into the best part of her day - the best part of her life until that point! There were simply no words to describe it.

She stretched and smiled, opening her eyes to a sparkling blue ceiling. 

Wait - WHAT?? 

Maren shot bolt upright in a bed that wasn’t hers, the covers sliding down to her waist.   
Beside her, Elsa stirred. 

“Morning,” mumbled the blonde beauty, opening her bright blue eyes to look up at Maren. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, more awake after seeing the shock on Maren’s face. She sat up and rubbed the young woman’s back.

“I … I slept here?” Maren asked groggily, clearly confused. 

Elsa laughed. 

“It’s not like that,” she assured the brunette. “It got very cold out there after... after the blizzard I caused,” she blushed, “we wanted to keep talking, so we came in here. You fell asleep and I didn’t have the heart to wake you… you looked so peaceful. And adorable,” she blushed even deeper. “But we didn’t so much as touch all night.” 

There was a momentary pause, then: “I’m sorry though, I probably should have woken you.” 

“No, no,” Maren said, relieved. “That was very sweet, Elsa. I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t pushed you to do… something… before you were ready...” she trailed off, Elsa no longer the only one blushing. 

“You didn’t,” Elsa said sweetly, and she leaned forward, placing a kiss on Maren’s lips. 

Maren sighed at the warmth and brought her hand to Elsa’s cheek, deepening the kiss. 

And before she knew it, the grogginess was gone - quickly replaced by a clear, burning desire. It was strange that Elsa could be described as the Ice Queen, and yet the feeling she elicited in Maren was one of unstoppable heat; a passionate fire. 

Maren dropped her hand and moved on top of Elsa instead, pushing her back against the pillows. The taste of the woman’s mouth drove her insane, and as she shifted to readjust her weight, she noticed how incredibly wet she was. 

She broke the kiss - both women breathing hard - and Elsa looked up at her, confused. 

“What’s wro - “ the blonde began to ask, but Maren interrupted. 

“I’m, I’m sorry …” she stuttered, climbing off Elsa and out of the bed altogether. “I need to go get ready, I think I’m supposed to help some of the guys with something today…” 

Elsa smiled at her, unconvinced. She waited a moment before responding, allowing her breathing to normalize.

“Okay,” she laughed, “well I’ll see you at dinner then, Mare. But I really enjoyed our morning together,” she added, winking at the brunette. 

A slight pink settled in Maren’s cheeks as she looked down at her feet bashfully. 

“I clearly did too,” she mumbled.   
A little TOO much, she thought to herself. 

She bent down and placed an innocent peck on Elsa’s lips. “See you tonight,” she whispered. 

**************

Maren returned to her tent to prepare for the day. She smiled to herself as she got dressed, completely awed at how quickly Elsa made her feel out of control. She wasn’t sure how the blonde felt about sex before marriage - and she would obviously respect whatever those feelings were - but she could tell resisting was going to be incredibly difficult. 

“Maren!” called a voice just outside her tent. 

It was Ryder, and she knew - of course - what he was doing there. 

“Just a sec!” she called out. She grabbed a few last things and opened the flap, stepping into dazzling sunlight. 

Ryder handed her a mug of warm tea. 

“Fancy a walk?” he asked with a coy smile. 

They spent the better part of the next hour walking aimlessly through the woods, Maren recounting the night before. 

“I cannot BELIEVE Joren!” Ryder growled angrily. “I swear Honeymaren, I honestly thought he was a good guy.” 

Her brother sounded close to tears. 

“I can’t even tell you how sorry I am, Mare. I really hope this doesn’t ruin your trust in me.” 

“Never,” Maren responded with a smile. “Nothing ever could.”

He smiled back, but then his features shifted abruptly, his hands clenched into fists. 

“I’m going to give that piece of trash a real piece of my mind!” he declared to the wilderness. 

Maren placed her hand softly on his arm. 

“It’s okay Ryder, really. The guy is an absolute idiot who can’t take ‘no’ for an answer or respect the wishes of others, but… he’s harmless.” 

Ryder looked at her, his mouth agape. 

“Maren, you know I love you, but… that might be one of the least intelligent things I’ve ever heard you say.” 

She looked at him, offended. 

“Well come on, sis!” he cried, raising his arms above his head. “You just gave two incredibly good reasons why he absolutely is NOT harmless and then claimed he was? That makes no sense! He’s dangerous, Mare. Please don’t make any excuses for him or lessen what he did to you. He disrespected your wishes, didn’t listen to a word you said and tried taking what he wanted forcefully and without consent! That is absolutely terrible, and it’s okay to not be okay sis.” He spoke the last part gently and with great sincerity, his chest heaving as he took a quick breath.

“And who’s to say he won’t do the same - or even worse - to his next crush?!” He asked incredulously. 

Maren sighed, loving her brother’s vehement opposition to misogyny. The world really needed more men like him. 

“You’re right,” she admitted, though still worried for her brother. “But please be careful, Ryder. Joren is a big guy.” 

Ryder puffed his chest in a show of over-exaggerated masculinity. 

“Oh, and you think I can’t take him?” 

They glanced at each other momentarily before bursting into laughter. 

Maren was bent double with her hands on her knees while Ryder clutched a stitch in his side, tears streaming down his face. 

“But seriously Ryder,” she said cautiously when they’d calmed down. “Please just… be safe. For me?” 

“Well you know I can’t say no to that, sis,” he said, pulling her in for a side hug. 

They continued walking through the chilly woods, leaves crunching underfoot, as Maren recounted the past two months. She detailed her feelings for Elsa, the advice Yelena had given and the trip to the magical clearing the day before. 

“She’s so stubborn,” Maren said, describing the blonde adoringly (as if Ryder had never met the woman before). 

“I knew it would be hard for her to admit how she felt, but Ryder! Wow... She really surprised me,” Maren beamed, clutching her brother's arm. 

“I’ve never felt anything like this before,” she continued, her eyes practically glittering with excitement.   
“I knew love was supposed to be good, but THIS?! I mean… wow. Just. Wow. It’s unreal” 

“Woah now!” Ryder said, stopping in his tracks. “I think we need to slow down a bit here, Maren.”

Maren looked at him hesitantly. 

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Are your feet hurting, or…” 

“LOVE, Maren?” he exclaimed, “You’ve known her for two months…”

“Yes,” she said, “and I’ve known I love her for two months. And she loves me, too.” she added matter-of-factly. 

Ryder shook his head. 

“Did you guys say that last night?” he asked tentatively, though he already knew the answer. 

Maren gave him the look he’d come to know too well, the one that cautioned against proceeding unless he was up for a fight. 

“Oh Maren!” he said, exasperated. “What do you know about love?”

Maren looked at him in shock. After a pause, shock turned to a mixture of hurt and anger and she began blinking furiously, determined not to cry. 

“I know a whole lot more about it than you do, you ass!” she exclaimed before turning and marching away from him. 

“Oh come on Maren!” he whined, following after her. “I didn’t mean it to sound so harsh! I just meant… it isn’t a bad idea to maybe slow down a bit. You’re pretty inexperienced with this sort of thing and I just don’t want to see you get your heart broken again.” 

Maren stopped suddenly. She turned and faced her good-natured brother, that warning burning brightly in her eyes. 

“Please don’t bring her into this Ryder,” she said quietly. 

He took a deep breath, knowing he’d nearly gone too far.

“Look,” he said gently, placing his hands on Maren’s upper arms and gazing into her eyes.   
“You live fearlessly, and I love that about you. You have the most loyal, giving heart. But sometimes you jump into things headfirst without thinking about the consequences, wearing all of that beautiful heart on your sleeve,” he said sweetly. “And I think Elsa is great, Mare, honestly. I just... want you to be careful with your heart. Take things slow, that’s all.” he smiled. “What’s the point of rushing? She’s not going anywhere anytime soon.” he finished, dropping his arms.

Maren appreciated her brother’s care and concern, so she couldn’t really explain why the words, “I can take care of myself Ryder,” came out of her mouth so coldly. 

She turned again, and this time he didn’t follow. 

She heard him sigh and turned back to see him walking off in the opposite direction. She felt a pang of guilt… it’s not that he didn’t have a point, and she knew he just wanted the best for her. 

Perhaps it was this conversation that led to the one between her and Elsa later that night. Maren cared deeply about her brother’s opinion, after all, and his words had a much deeper effect on her than she realized at the time… 

*******************

Elsa cleaned herself off after a day in the woods and headed to dinner. After grabbing her food she looked around and saw Maren already sitting at their fire. 

She approached the dazzling brunette with butterflies in her stomach.

“Hey,” she said when she was nearly there. 

“Hey,” Maren smiled back… but Elsa couldn’t help noticing the smile didn’t fully reach those brown eyes. 

“How was your day?” she asked, sitting on an empty log.

“Um,” Maren said in a distant voice. “It was… okay.” 

The brunette didn’t return the question, and the women ate in silence for a while. 

Finally Elsa sat her fork down and looked at the beautiful woman across from her. 

“Okay, what’s going on?” she asked. 

“Wha - oh, I’m sorry Elsa. I’m just not fully here right now,” Maren said apologetically, though she didn’t meet Elsa’s eyes. 

Elsa, feeling an anxious pit forming in her stomach, moved to join Maren on her log. She took the plate from the tan woman’s hands and looked at her until she met her eyes. 

“What’s going on?” she repeated softly. 

Maren sighed and looked down, resigned to the truth. 

“Do you think we’re… that we might be… might be moving a bit fast?” she asked hesitantly. 

Elsa felt a sudden wave of nausea, terrified that the brunette regretted everything. 

“Is this about you sleeping over last night?” She asked, but continued without waiting for an answer: “I’m so sorry, Maren. I thought about it all day and realized I should have woken you up and walked you to your tent. I’m ashamed I didn’t,” she finished, hanging her head. 

“No Elsa,” Maren said quickly. “Please don’t be at all!” 

Elsa continued looking down sadly. 

“Look,” Maren said, plucking up her courage, “I wake up pretty groggy in the mornings, you know this,” she laughed, “but do you really think I asked to go in your tent last night thinking I’d just lay on your bed talking and then return to my own tent to sleep? I never intended to fall asleep… I should be the one who’s ashamed,” she said softly. 

Elsa looked up, about to ask why, but Maren beat her to it. 

“I went in there with, um… very different intentions than what actually ended up happening,” she admitted, blushed furiously. 

“That’s why I was so worried at first - when I woke up this morning I mean,” she explained, looking down at her palms. 

There was silence while Elsa processed, a look of confusion on her face. Then it appeared to dawn on her. 

“Oh!” she exclaimed, “You wanted to keep kissing in my tent last night!” she said triumphantly. 

Maren laughed, tears now stinging at her eyes.

“No, Else. I mean - yes, but… I wanted more than just…” she paused again, embarrassed. 

“You wanted to kiss on my bed?” Elsa questioned sweetly. “We did that this morning… a bit”

“Oh my gosh Elsa,” Maren said adoringly, pulling her into a tight hug. “You are so incredibly sweet.” 

Elsa looked at her expectantly when they separated, her brow furrowed and feeling slightly offended… though she couldn’t quite place why.

“Elsa,” she sighed, “I went into your tent last night wanting to … to sleep with you.” she said, blushing deeper still. 

“And we did,” Elsa said, “so if you wanted to, why is that bad? I wanted you to stay too.”

Maren placed her head in her hands. 

“What?!” Elsa asked, feeling frustrated now. 

“Elsa, I wanted to have sex with you!” she exclaimed, clearly much louder than intended. 

Her tan face absolutely scarlet now, Maren looked quickly to the surrounding fires, hoping no one heard her confession. Based on the look on Elsa’s face, she wished the blonde hadn’t heard it either. 

Elsa sat quite still, unblinking. 

“O… Oh,” she finally stammered. “Oh… okay. I, um… well… I…” 

Truthfully, she wasn’t sure what to say exactly. 

The night before had been Elsa’s first kiss… Maren was the first real crush she’d ever had. She was starting to recognize just how inexperienced she really was; how growing up in a castle - removed from the outer world - spending a life locked inside, focusing on controlling her powers and not much else… how little that life had prepared her for things like this. How growing up as the future queen of Arendelle and having that leadership thrust on her far too young - before she was truly ready - might not have allowed for much standard interaction with people her own age. And romance? She was completely ignorant to it. She saw that now more than ever before. 

“Have you… um… done that? S- Sex, I mean?” She asked Maren cautiously. 

“No,” Maren said, and Elsa couldn’t help but feel a flood of relief wash over her. 

“And,” she continued tentatively, “Other than Joren - who doesn’t count,” she added angrily,   
“... am I the first person you’ve kissed?” 

Maren looked away sadly. 

“Also, no,” she whispered. 

“Oh,” Elsa said, unable to hide her disappointment. Not that she had any right to be disappointed, and she knew that. She had just hoped that maybe Maren was as inexperienced as she was. 

“I… the way I grew up wasn’t… wasn’t really typical,” Elsa tried explaining. “I guess I’m just… I’m very naive - more than I even realized,” she confessed sorrowfully. “I just assumed…” she trailed off. 

“I’m sorry, Elsa,” Maren said sympathetically. “I know you missed out on a lot while growing up. You must have felt so alone.” 

Elsa nodded, lost in thought.

“But it’s not just that I wanted to have sex with you last night, Elsa,” Maren continued gently. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, that scares me too… that I already want you so badly like… like that,” she blushed for the thousandth time that day. “But I think those physical feelings are pretty natural. Like… was there no part of your mind that went there last night?” 

Elsa blushed this time. 

“Um… there are very large parts of my mind that go there… often,” she confessed. “Especially this morning,” she said in a small voice. 

Maren couldn’t help but smile. 

“I just never thought, even in my wildest dreams, that it would be a possibility,” the blonde continued. “Or that it would be something you thought about, too.” She looked down, blushing deeper. 

“Well it is. Believe me…” 

“Before last night, even?” Elsa asked. 

“Of course!” Maren laughed. “Nearly every day for over a month now! And I think that’s completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. And I can’t wait until those thoughts become reality…” 

She said this right as Elsa was taking a breath, and next thing Elsa was coughing violently, choking on her own spit. 

When she was able to speak again, she asked sweetly, “You really want that?”

Maren rolled her eyes. 

“Obviously Elsa!” she cried. “You’re the one I want to give that part of myself to, I just… just… “ 

“Don’t want to move too fast?” Elsa offered. 

Maren nodded. 

“I get that. It scares me, the thought of doing that… of having sex for the first time. I don’t think I’d - or, I mean, I’m not sure if I’d be very good, and…” she trailed off. 

Maren reached forward and took her hand, smiling as light snow began falling around them. 

“You don’t have anything to worry about, Elsa,” she said reassuringly, using her other hand to trace the blonde woman’s flawless features. 

“We’ll figure it out together. Plus, was last night really your first kiss? Like, ever?” 

Elsa nodded, causing Maren to laugh as if the blonde had no idea how insane that really was. 

“Um, ya… you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” she assured her.

“How do you know?” Elsa asked. 

“Seriously? Elsa… you were INCREDIBLE. Honestly. You took my breath away. You’re a kissing savant.” 

Elsa looked away, blushing once more. 

“You aren’t so bad yourself,” she whispered , desire rising quickly in her stomach. 

“So as long as we talk like this, as long as we’re open about when we’re ready for… for that… then we’re good, right?” Elsa asked. “We can set some boundaries at first, boundaries like… like only kissing, nothing more, and no sleepovers… no going in each other’s tents at night… if we are alone and feel tempted then we’ll go around other people… and if either of us feels ready then the decision has to be made like this - when our minds aren’t clouded by desire. Because as long as we’re fully honest with our feelings and make these decisions together, we can’t possibly go too fast, right?” 

Maren looked at her adoringly, though her heart was hammering ahead of the words she was about to speak. 

“That all sounds really good, Elsa, and I agree we should wait a while before having sex, but… but what I was trying to say earlier is that it isn’t only the physical part that makes me worry we’re going too fast… it’s, um… what we said to each other.” 

Elsa looked at her blankly. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, just the um… the ‘L’ word, I guess…” Maren said softly. 

Elsa blinked. 

“But I do love you,” she said genuinely. “You made me admit it last night, remember? I didn’t intend to say it so soon, but you asked me outright. I wasn’t going to lie.” 

“I know, Elsa,” Maren said apologetically, “I’m just afraid I made a mistake.” 

“Oh.” Elsa said, and she felt part of her heart beginning to break. 

“It’s not like that, Else,” Maren said quickly, moving closer. “It’s just so… so soon to say something that… intense. That big.” 

“But you asked me. And it’s true,” Elsa repeated. “It’s true for me at least.” 

Maren felt those last words deeply. 

“But Elsa, is it possible to love someone when you’ve only known them for two months? When you don’t even know all the things that make them who they are?” 

“Yes,” Elsa said firmly. 

“How can you be so sure?” Maren asked sadly. 

“Because I do. I love you and I know it’s true. I know it’s real.” 

“But HOW can you know?” the brunette pressed. “Have you ever been in love before?” 

“I’ve loved people before,” Elsa responded patiently. 

“But have you loved someone like this before? Have you ever been in love?” 

“No,” Elsa said truthfully. 

“Then how can you know that’s what this is?” Maren asked in disbelief, seemingly looking for any excuse to break apart the admission she’d asked the blonde for in the first place. 

“The same way anyone else knows they’re in love for the first time… I just know,” Elsa answered. 

Maren looked at her skeptically. 

“You’re suggesting that it can only be love if you’ve felt it before and can therefore recognize it, but if that were true then no one would ever fall in love because how could they possibly know that’s what it was if they didn’t recognize it the first time?” the blonde reasoned.   
“I mean… okay, the first time you threw up... you knew what was happening, right? Even though it had never happened before?” 

“That’s different, Else,” Maren sighed. 

“Who’s scared now?” Elsa said under her breath. 

“What?” Maren asked. 

“Nothing, I just… if you’re not comfortable saying it anymore or if you suddenly think saying it is moving too fast… even though we both feel it… then we don’t have to. But it won’t change the fact that I do love you, Maren. You made me admit it and I’m not going to deny it now.” 

Maren was silent, staring into the fire ahead. 

“What are you thinking?” Elsa asked gently. 

“I just don’t want to make a mistake,” she said quietly, a tear flowing down her tan cheek. 

“You seemed so certain about what you wanted last night,” the blonde responded, tears stinging at her eyes now too. 

“I know,” Maren said apologetically. “I know, Else, and I’m sorry. I just… I think I need some time to… to slow down and… and think.” 

“Okay,” Elsa said hollowly. 

She rose from the log and looked down at the young woman. 

“I’ll leave you alone, then,” and she began walking towards the woods. 

“Else,” Maren said quickly, “I’m sorry, I’m just…” 

Scared, thought Elsa. 

“I just need a little time to think things over,” she finished pitifully. 

“I understand.” 

Maren looked at her sadly, a battle clearly raging in her mind. 

“Sleep tight Maren,” Elsa said, and she wandered into the woods without glancing back. 

Elsa’s tears were streaming freely now, and she did nothing to slow their fall. She was so confused, so hurt. 

She understood Maren needing time, but why had the woman been so determined to make Elsa admit her feelings just to turn around the next minute and refer to their admission as a mistake? It didn’t make sense, and it absolutely killed her. 

She made her way towards the river and was surprised to stumble across Yelena; she quickly wiped the tears from her face and composed herself. Yelena graciously pretended not to notice. 

“Off on another adventure so late?” the older woman asked in her deep and knowing voice. 

“Something like that,” Elsa responded. 

“Hmm,” Yelena said, turning back to her task.

“Wait… Yelena?” she asked tentatively. 

“Yes?” the wise leader asked. 

“I’m not going to be around for a while,” she said. 

The woman looked at her suspiciously. 

“I’m needed in Arendelle for some time,” she explained. 

“I see,” Yelena said. 

“I just … thought someone should know.” 

“I would have thought you’d inform young Honeymaren,” Yelena said bluntly, “or perhaps that you’d be bringing her with you.” 

“Oh… well,” Elsa stammered, caught off guard. “I couldn’t find her,” she lied, “and my sister really needs me, so… I just thought I should let someone know before I left…” 

“And so you ventured into the woods to find and tell me?” she asked slyly. 

Why did the elder woman have to make everything so difficult?! 

“I… no… I was just on my way to the river to call Nokk and didn’t realize I hadn’t told anyone from the village until I saw you.” 

“I see,” Yelena repeated. “Well, safe travels then.” 

“Thank you,” Elsa said to her retreating back. 

She stood in the darkness a moment longer, then continued on the path to the river. 

Nokk was already waiting for her. She smiled weakly and gave him a pat. He nuzzled her head and she felt the always peculiar feeling of solid water - not ice, just water that somehow holds its shape despite gravity. 

She whispered her gratitude and mounted, choosing to take the most direct route to Arendelle - the river. 

When she arrived she dismounted on the banks by the castle and gave Nokk a nuzzle of his own. She watched him disappear beneath the waves and entered the castle. She crept up the stairs and along the hallways until she found herself outside Anna’s door.

Raising a shaky fist, she knocked once. 

“Olaf,” she heard her sister laugh from the other side. “I told you, no more stories tonight!” her voice drew nearer with each word until the handle rattled and the door swung open. 

“I’m seriou - OH! Elsa!” she exclaimed, surprised. 

The young queen had only a moment to take in her older sister’s disheveled appearance - her wind-blown hair damp from the spray of the river beneath Nokk’s hurried canter - before the blonde fell into her arms, crying.


	5. A Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone - I'm so sorry this chapter took a while. I had to take the GRE and got a bit busy with studying, but it's over now! I seriously can't thank you enough for the comments, they really make my day every time. This chapter is kind of long I think... I can never really tell. I hope you enjoy!

Maren woke early the next morning and felt regret wash over her immediately.

Her brother had really gotten to her. She hadn’t thought of Klara in months - probably in over a year, even - and certainly not since meeting Elsa. But when Ryder mentioned even the idea of her, all those fears and insecurities came flooding back with an unstoppable force. It knocked her over completely, and she’d allowed her past to affect her future with Elsa. 

Maren had known Klara her entire life - as she had all the tribe members, an added bonus of growing up trapped in a generally small area. 

Although she’d known and been friendly with Klara, who was Maren’s age, their relationship wasn’t close until they were seventeen. Or, rather, nearly seventeen. Their birthdays were within a week of one another, and seventeen was an important age to the Northuldran people: it was considered the age one becomes an adult. 

Tradition held that, one week prior to the seventeenth birthday, the Northuldran would set out on their own with only a few supplies. The exercise was intended to make each young Northuldran spend a week in isolation, learning to fend for themselves. At the end of the week - on their seventeenth birthday - the tribe member would return to a massive feast and celebrate becoming an adult.   
It was incredibly rare that two children in the tribe have birthdays within a week of one another. Obviously Maren shared a birthday with Ryder, but the tribe had ensured they would experience their weeks separately by having Ryder embark on his journey two weeks before turning seventeen. Apparently isolation was more important than timing, which was ironic when - three days into her exhibition - cold, hungry, lonely and scared, Maren had stumbled upon Klara. 

The girl, whose birthday was four days before Maren and Ryder’s, was supposed to be returning to camp that evening, but Maren could tell that wouldn’t be happening. Klara had fallen and appeared to have broken her ankle. Her dirty blonde hair, usually so well-kempt, was wind-blown and wild. Tears fell from her hazel eyes and she looked at Maren as though she were her last hope.   
In the event of a ‘journier’ - as they were referred to during the week - not returning by nightfall of their birthday, several men would set out on a search and rescue mission. This had only happened once or twice in Maren’s lifetime; it was more common for a journier to return early and refuse to finish than become lost or otherwise unable to get back.   
Maren knew that returning to camp early would mean forfeiting her right to be seen as an adult in the tribe - her vote wouldn’t count in tribal matters - but, in truth, she didn’t care. She wasn’t going to leave Klara alone in agonizing pain, half-starved and freezing cold. She couldn’t. Tradition be damned. 

So she’d given Klara food and water, splinted her ankle and supported her weight for the seven mile hike back to camp. They’d returned well after nightfall and just missed the search party.   
Maren refused to leave Klara’s side after they stumbled into camp, even when they took her to the medical tent to be attended to. Klara informed the tribal leaders of her ordeal and detailed everything Maren had done for her. Yelena had given Maren her adult status in the tribe and did the same for Klara, who had stayed alive despite falling on her second day and survived five days with a broken ankle, unable to seek help.  
The women had grown close through their shared experience, and it didn’t take long for Maren to recognize the strong feelings she’d developed as something more than friendship. She could never remember who’d taken whose hand first, but it wasn’t long before the two were inseparable. 

There was a quiet recklessness in Klara, a magnetic rebellion that both scared and intrigued young Honeymaren. 

But as time went on she came to find Klara increasingly demanding and sometimes downright mean. The mean streaks became more frequent and Maren noticed her girlfriend would constantly underestimate her. 

She began expending energy trying to prove herself to Klara but, no matter what she did, she was simply never good enough. It broke her into little pieces every day, and Maren failed to recognize Klara’s masterfully subtle ways of bringing her down and making her feel like complete shit. 

She never hit Maren, but Klara’s quick-temper worsened the older she got. There were several occasions where she terrified the brunette and made her fear for her safety. 

If asked to explain why she put up with the woman for two full years, why she’d allowed Klara to treat her with such a lack of respect, Maren supposed the simplest answer was she felt it was what she deserved. 

Klara had chipped away at her self-confidence for so long, had led her to believe she was worthless in so many ways, that in time Maren truly believed she didn’t deserve better. She stopped eating regularly and became a shell of who she’d once been, placing all her energy into making Klara believe she was worth it. 

It was Ryder who ultimately pulled her from her girlfriend’s gripping control. Maren was nineteen when he had a very serious intervention with her, the most painful part coming when he exposed Klara for who she really was. 

It turned out she’d been sleeping with several men in the tribe - something she blamed on Maren when confronted. Maren had never felt comfortable crossing that intimate boundary with Klara, which was entirely her right to refuse, but Klara had pressured her at nearly every turn. When Maren learned the truth about Klara’s sexual escapades, Klara was quick to blame it on their lack of consummation... but Maren finally saw through the manipulation.

The next few years found the young brunette rediscovering herself - or, perhaps, truly discovering herself for the first time. 

Immediately following the breakup, she moved in with Ryder and spent several months feeling lost, broken, and completely shattered. 

By her twentieth birthday she began coming out of her depression, but words simply could not explain the pain she’d felt at Klara’s betrayal. After everything she’d done for the girl...she had tried loving her so well, and Klara threw it all in her face. Maren was never good enough for her, and after the breakup she began believing she wasn’t good enough for anyone - even herself. 

Ryder and her friends were instrumental in helping find her confidence again. Yelena helped exponentially as well; she showed Maren how worthy she was of love and happiness. 

By the time Maren met Elsa she was living on her own and in a very good place, far stronger than before her relationship with Klara.

So, after everything she’d been through, Maren understood her brother’s words of warning when she shared her strong feelings for Elsa... as much as they hurt. 

She’d lost herself in Klara, and she’d vowed to never let anyone have that profound of an effect on her again. She refused to change who she was just so someone could love a fake version of herself. She deserved to be loved for exactly who she was, every single part - the good and the bad. 

But that was just the thing - Maren thought as she turned over in bed, her eyebrows scrunched together in thought. With Elsa, she didn’t have to be anyone else. 

Elsa knew her… like, really knew her. 

The blonde had seen every silly and serious side Maren had to offer and seemed to genuinely enjoy them all. 

Elsa never made her feel like she had to be anyone other than herself. Quite to the contrary, in fact, Maren felt more free to be her true self in the presence of the blonde. 

Elsa made her feel safe, comfortable and secure. It was honestly more than she could even have hoped for, to find someone who not only accepted her as she was but also enabled her to know herself better - more fully. 

And although Maren sensed in Elsa a quiet storm not entirely unlike what she’d felt in Klara, she didn’t fear it. 

The blonde woman was outrageously kind and selfless. She’d quite literally sacrificed herself for truth and justice. Her actions alone proved the type of person she was, and the quiet storm inside her served only to provide strength. She was a strong, powerful woman who overcame even the most insurmountable odds, and that beautiful woman wanted Maren. 

Maren now saw the feelings she’d had the night before for what they truly were: fear. 

Fear of the physical response she had around Elsa and how difficult it was to resist her.

Fear of being hurt, fear of not being good enough, fear of losing Elsa and, most of all… fear of her uncontrollably deep feelings for the woman. 

God, she didn’t want to be hurt again… 

But this? This was cowardice. 

And Maren was no coward. 

Although it was quite early, Maren jumped out of bed and pulled on a sweater, stumbling out her tent while still cramming her foot into her second boot. 

Racing to the outskirts of the tent community she reached Elsa’s in seconds, completely out of breath. 

“Else?” She called frantically. 

She waited as patiently as she could, but there was no response to her call. The woman must still be sleeping. Maren pushed the heavy door covering aside and stepped in to see… 

Nothing. 

Odd, she thought. 

But Elsa often woke earlier than this - she must be out collecting wood for the daily fires.

Maren spent the next hour trudging through the woods in search of Elsa, returning flushed and anxious towards the end of breakfast. 

“Hey sis, I saved you a muffin,” Ryder said, looking at her with kind eyes. He was clearly hoping all could be forgiven for how their conversation ended yesterday. 

“Thanks,” she said without taking the muffin.   
“Have you seen Elsa?” She asked, trying to hide the desperation in her voice. 

“Not today,” he shrugged, “but you promised you’d help with the reindeer, remember?”

Maren groaned. She was aching to find the blonde and set things right. 

But perhaps a distraction wasn’t such a terrible idea... and she had promised Ryder, after all. It certainly wasn’t a great time to bombard her brother with her fears over the missing girl, not after their argument the day before. 

So she followed him to the stables while inconspicuously continuing her search for Elsa, getting whiplash from turning her head so quickly to scan every direction. 

She spent the next 8 hours coaxing, pushing and pulling each reindeer towards Ryder so he could inspect them all, ensuring none had any major health issues. They finally headed back towards camp at nightfall, well into dinner. 

Maren hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Elsa all day, despite the distracting smell of reindeer. Rather than heading to grab food with Ryder, she began looking around the campfires. 

She wasn’t surprised to find their fire empty - she’d told Elsa she needed time, after all - but when she’d searched the entire camp with no sign of the blonde, Maren became frantic. 

She ran to Elsa’s tent as she had done that morning and hardly waited to barge inside after calling her name. 

The tent was still empty, and everything looked exactly as it had that morning. 

A sick feeling began rising up from Maren’s stomach, settling near the bottom of her throat. The feeling encompassed so many different feelings that it was hard to describe, but ultimately it felt like fear… the type of fear that paralyzes you. 

She ran back outside and began asking anyone she came across if they’d seen the beautiful blonde. She kept coming up empty, and just as she turned to run into the forest, determined to search every inch of the dark wood... she found herself face-to-face with Yelena. 

The wisened leader looked at her calmly. 

“Something on your mind Honeymaren?” she asked in her husky tone. 

“I - I can’t find Elsa! Anywhere!” Maren responded, perhaps more desperately than she’d meant to. The tears in her voice were far too apparent. 

“I see,” Yelena said, pausing. She seemed to consider her next words carefully. 

“I ran into the former queen in the woods late last evening,” she continued, and Maren felt an icy sweat run down her spine.

“She informed me she’ll be spending some time in Arendelle.” 

“Wh- What?” Maren spluttered, no longer trying to hide the emotion in her voice.

Yelena looked at her with kinder eyes now, and the tears began flowing freely down Maren’s cheeks. 

“I… I… why?” she asked, absolutely sick with worry now. 

“Said her sister needed her,” the older woman shrugged, though she clearly didn’t believe the story. 

“I, I… I have to go,” Maren said, turning quickly. 

“Honeymaren,” Yelena said sternly, “The skies are dark. Elsa is - “ 

“I have to get to Arendelle!” Maren cried, not caring about logic or reason. 

Yelena stepped in front of her, ready to restrain the brunette if need be. 

“Elsa is fine”, she reasoned soberly, “she just needs some time. You can go to Arendelle tomorrow. The journey is long by land and simply cannot be made at nightfall.” 

At this point Ryder, having seen the interaction and his sister’s tears, appeared beside the women. 

“Mare, what’s going on?” he asked sweetly. 

“I messed everything up!” she cried, falling into Ryder's warm embrace. 

“It’s okay… it’s okay…” he repeated, perplexed. 

“You, you mentioned Kl… Kl… Klara yesterday and I, I…” 

“I’m sorry Mare,” he interrupted, rubbing her back, “I never should have brought her into this, it was an entirely different situation. I just didn’t want to see you hurt again, but you’re older now and Elsa is great, sis. I’m sorry.” 

Maren was crying harder now, poor Ryder looking increasingly uncomfortable. 

“I started doubting everything and I … I told her we needed to take a step back and I don’t want to take a step back, I don’t want that Ryder! I don’t even know why I said it, and now she’s… she’s… gone.” 

Maren buried her head in Ryder’s chest and cried while Yelena spoke to him softly. 

“Elsa left for Arendelle last night. I was just telling Honeymaren she needs to wait for morning before she follows. The journey isn’t safe at night.” 

She felt Ryder nod in agreement. 

“We’ll leave first thing in the morning sis,” he said, hugging her tightly. 

And so Maren spent a sleepless night tossing and turning, feeling increasingly nauseous. The tears came and went throughout the night, but they had dried by the time the sun crept over the horizon. She jumped from her bed at the first sign of light, stepping into the cold morning air. 

She found Ryder waiting outside, two reindeer pulling the cart he’d already packed for their trip. He handed her some warm tea and she smiled at him weakly in appreciation. 

She truly didn’t know what she’d do without her loving brother. He could be a dingus at times, but goodness was he the sweetest, most caring dingus there ever was. 

They spent the next couple hours on the bumpy cart, Ryder forcing her to drink water and nibble on crackers. 

Eventually Arrendelle came into view, and Maren completely lost what little appetite she’d had. 

When they arrived at the castle gates Ryder gave her a tight hug and stepped back. 

“You can do this Mare,” he smiled at her. “I’ll be around if you need anything.” 

She watched him turn the cart towards town to get supplies and visit Kristoff. 

Maren took a deep breath and made her way through the open gates to the castle entrance. 

She knocked on the heavy oak door and waited, legs trembling, feeling she might faint at any moment.

********************************

Elsa hadn’t said much since she’d cried herself to sleep in Anna’s arms the night she arrived, and Anna hadn’t pressed. Although she had a knack for getting her sister to open up, she could tell Elsa needed time to sort this one out for herself. 

So the Queen was surprised when, two days after her big sister appeared outside her bedroom door, one of the castle guards arrived in her office and announced a visitor in the foyer.

Anna looked at the man, puzzled.

“Are we expecting company?” she asked - more to the air around her than anyone else. 

“I’m, I’m not sure Your Excellency,” the guard responded, clearly unsure why the queen would think he of all people should know.

“Hmm, well this is exciting,” she beamed at the guard, jumping up from her seat. “A surprise guest!” and she bounded past him to greet the mystery visitor. 

Anna descended the grand staircase into the cavernous foyer, a large grin spreading across her face when she saw the slender brunette woman pacing back and forth by the main entrance. 

But as she drew nearer, Anna’s smile faded.

Honeymaren looked as though she hadn’t slept in days, and there was a worried expression etched on her face. Anna couldn’t help but think the young woman looked rather ill, as if she might be sick at any moment. 

Maren looked up as Anna approached, the sound of footsteps pulling her from her trance-like state.

“Your Majesty,” she said, curtseying. 

“Oh please, Honeymaren,” Anna said, rushing forward and pulling the woman into a tight hug. “You’re practically family! It’s wonderful to see you!” 

She released the brunette and saw a look of relief on her face. 

How odd, she thought… it seemed as though the Northuldran expected Anna to be displeased by her presence, but why on earth should she be? 

A small silence fell between them - Anna curious what had brought her friend to the castle but unsure how to ask without sounding rude. She settled instead on looking at the brunette expectantly, waiting patiently for an explanation. 

“Anna,” Maren began shakily, “Do you think I could… would it be alright if, if I … could I speak with Elsa?” she blurted out finally. “Please,” she added hastily, a sense of desperation in her tone.

Anna noticed the unshed tears glistening in brown eyes despite the woman blinking furiously to keep them from falling. 

And all at once it hit the Queen like a freight train… 

Elsa and Honeymaren!

Oh my goodness! 

Holy shit!! 

She should have recognized how closely Honeymaren’s expression matched the one Elsa had worn two nights previously… there was DEFINITELY something going on here, and Anna’s mind was suddenly buzzing. 

Her strong, beautiful (and stubborn) sister MARRYING one of the kindest, most stunning women Anna had ever met?! 

‘Slow down Anna’, she thought, taking a breath. She had a tendency to get a bit ahead of herself from time to time...

Not marrying. 

Well… not yet. 

‘But someday’, said a voice in the back of her head, and Anna smiled.

Clearly there was something going on between the two… something that would eventually lead to marriage, right?! 

Honeymaren was so thoughtful, the radiance of her heart impossible to mistake. The young queen felt as though she could dance from happiness! 

She truly couldn’t think of a better partner for her older sister, and as she began planning the colors for their wedding and composing her Maid of Honor speech, a small voice interrupted her thoughts: 

“Um, Anna?” Maren asked tentatively. 

“Oh,” Anna laughed embarrassedly, forcing her mind to focus on the woman in front of her rather than if she could convince Elsa to include pink in her bridal bouquet or not. 

“I’m so sorry, Honeymaren,” she said apologetically, trying to suppress her gleeful emotions, “what was the question?” 

“Could I speak with Elsa?”

Anna opened her mouth, intent on saying ‘yes of course!’, grabbing the woman’s arm and racing to find Elsa… but she suddenly thought better of it. 

She remembered Elsa shaking in her arms the other night, the earth-shattering pain etched on her delicate face. 

“Um, I’m so sorry Honeymaren but… I think I need to ask Elsa first,” she said gently. 

Maren looked at her, dejected, but nodded slightly in understanding. 

Anna turned, overwhelmed by the myriad of thoughts racing through her mind. She was anxious to find her sister and discuss every detail, but the brunette’s quiet plea stopped her.

“Anna, please,” she breathed. 

Anna turned to see the tears had won the battle, now racing down the woman’s cheeks. 

Maren cleared her throat and looked down at her feet, attempting - in vain - to hide her tears. 

“It’s just I… I really messed up Anna,” she said sadly. “I messed up and I... I don’t think she’d agree to see me. But she has to,” she said in anguish. “Please Anna, I know she’s your sister but I swear I mean her no harm. I’m here to apologize and… and try to make it right.” 

Anna’s heart broke for the woman’s anguish, and she sighed deeply. 

Surely she could convince her sister to speak with Honeymaren, and she couldn’t leave the brunette waiting here with only a strange guard to keep her company. 

“Okay, let’s go find her then,” she said, gesturing toward the stairs. 

Maren smiled weakly in appreciation and hurried after the Queen. 

They walked through the sprawling castle halls in search of Elsa, the small brunette appearing more nervous with every room they eliminated.

Finally, Anna stopped outside the double-doors of the library and turned to face her friend.

“This is our best bet,” she said quietly, and - noticing that Maren was trembling now - she placed her hand on the woman’s arm. 

“Hey… you love her, right?” she asked, and Maren looked surprised. 

“Ye - Yes, I do,” she stammered. “Very much.”

Anna smiled warmly.

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” she assured her.

Maren took a deep, steadying breath and nodded. 

“Okay,” Anna said, “let’s do this,” and she leaned in to open the door.

“Elsa!” she called. “You in here?” 

“Yes,” answered a voice among the stacks. 

Anna turned to Maren and held up a hand, giving her a look that said, ‘wait here,’ - and so Maren did. 

Anna made her way towards the back where she’d heard her sister’s voice and found the blonde sitting in a leather chair by the large bay window. 

Elsa held a book in her lap, sunlight shining all around her. She looked up as her younger sister approached and gestured to the empty armchair facing her. 

“Actually sis,” Anna said in a low voice, feeling suddenly as nervous as Maren, “You have company.” 

Elsa looked at her, confused, but realization seemed to dawn on her quickly. 

“Wh - Who?” she asked, though the quiver in her voice gave away what she already knew; because no one else would come for her here, no one else except…

“Maren?” she whispered. 

Anna nodded. 

The older of the sisters began looking around frantically, as though expecting the woman who’d broken her heart to pop out at any moment. 

“Anna, I … I can’t. I don’t think there’s anything to, to…,” 

“Hey,’ Anna interrupted gently, kneeling in front of her sister and taking her hand, “It’s okay sis, there’s nothing to worry about. She’s here to do the talking.. all you have to do is listen. This is a good thing,” she said reassuringly, gently squeezing her sister's hand. 

Elsa closed her eyes and took a few calming breaths. When she opened them again her expression had hardened, and Anna knew she’d constructed an icey wall around her heart. 

“Okay,” she said, looking at Anna. 

Anna rose and called, “come on back,” towards the door. 

A few moments later a petrified Honeymaren stepped into view, hardly daring to meet either sister's eyes. 

Elsa rose at the sight of the younger woman, the forgotten book clattering to the hardwood floor at her feet. 

She had never seen Maren look so, so… utterly broken. 

Devastated even. 

And although she’d feared seeing the woman at all, she couldn’t stand seeing her like this. 

The wall she’d constructed just moments before proved rather flimsy - it melted at the sight of Maren’s sadness. In fact, the power the brunette’s unhappiness had over the former queen was quite comical, in only the most adorable of ways.

“Maren? Is everything okay?” Elsa asked in concern, stepping towards the brunette. 

Maren placed her head in her hands and began crying, waves of insurmountable tears racking her petite form. 

“N - No,” she cried hysterically when Elsa reached her. “No, I’m s- s- such an idiot, Elsa. I love you. I love you SO much. You have no idea how much I love you, Elsa! I love you like I’ve, like I’ve never felt before and I, I was so scared you’d … you’d leave me. That I wouldn’t be good enough for you… that you’d see that I’m not good enough for, for,” her sobs became uncontrollable at this point, and Elsa tried reaching for her. 

“No,” Maren said, trying to compose herself so she could finish what she’d come here to say. 

“I hurt you Elsa. How can you ever for- forgive me? I was so cold to you. I hurt you and I just… I just don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am. I’m so sorry, Elsa. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” she began repeating her apology over and over again, the words becoming incoherent as her tears intensified. 

The brunette was practically hyperventilating now, and Elsa - unable to hold back any longer - took her gently in her arms. She held her close, guiding her head to rest on her shoulder, while Maren released the dam she’d been holding inside. 

She rubbed the brunette’s back and swayed side to side in a gentle rocking motion, humming lightly and whispering that everything would be okay.

When the crying finally slowed, Elsa looked down at the radiant woman in her arms. 

“Can you ever forgive me?” Maren asked pitifully, hanging her head in shame. 

Elsa moved the younger woman’s chin up so their eyes could meet again.

“No more pushing me away?” She asked. 

“I promise,” Maren answered seriously. 

Elsa smiled and took the woman’s slender face in her hands.

“Of course I forgive you,” she said sweetly. 

“And Maren? The question isn’t if you’re good enough for me, because you are more than enough. The question is if I’m good enough for you.” 

“You are,” Honeymaren croaked in exasperation. 

Elsa smiled and bent down to kiss Maren lightly on the tip of her nose before whispering, “and I love you too, Mare.” 

She kissed Maren’s lips, her heart lurching at the feel of something so newly familiar. 

She smiled when she felt the brunette return her kiss, then wrapped her arms around her tan neck and slid her tongue into Maren’s mouth, anxious to taste the woman again. 

Maren moaned softly into Elsa’s mouth, a fiery passion building slowly as she -

“Excuse me,” Anna said, clearing her throat.

Both women jumped and separated, having completely forgotten the Queen was there. 

“Perhaps you ladies would like some privacy?” the redhead smirked. 

Elsa and Maren looked at each other, embarrassed, and settled for holding hands for the moment instead. 

“I’m going to go find my fiancé,” Anna said, “but I must say: I’m a BIG fan of this relationship.”

Elsa and Maren smiled sheepishly.

“I’ll see you soon Maren. And Elsa?” Anna said, eying her older sister, “we’ll talk tonight, shall we?”

“Yes Anna,” Elsa laughed, rolling her eyes. 

The women watched Anna’s retreating back until they heard the library doors click closed behind her. 

“I really like her,” Maren said, smiling.

“Me too,” Elsa laughed. 

She looked down at the small brunette and frowned. 

“You look so tired, Mare. I think we should get you some lunch and a nap.” 

Maren dropped Elsa’s hand and wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist instead, pulling her close. She squeezed tightly, not wanting to relinquish her grip. 

“You’ll stay with me?” She asked the blonde sweetly, and Elsa’s heart melted. 

“Of course I will,” she said, brushing a strand of hair from Maren’s face and kissing her forehead lightly. 

Not an hour later, bellies full of the best Arrendellian cuisine, the two women laid down in Elsa’s soft bed for an afternoon nap. 

Both were exhausted, and both shared one final thought before surrendering to the sleep that claimed them: how incredibly lucky they were to be holding the woman in their arms.


End file.
